SAD

I hate this time of year ... short days, overcast skies, not enough sunshine. Every year around this time I feel like I hit a wall. Daily activities suddenly seem to require too much energy. Preparing for the holidays seems completely overwhelming.

I feel so depressed and alone.

Popped

I just got home from the eye doctor. I told the nurse that it was like a mini vacation because I got to go to the doctor's office without taking Drew and Gracie with me.

I like the eye doctor that I saw today ... she took one look at my eyelid and said, "Bummer, huh?" When I agreed, she said, "You know, it's basically just a big zit, right?" Well, yes, I was aware of that. So she said she could "pop" it for me. Just what I wanted to hear. In fact, she did it this morning, so it's all done.

While the doctor gave me the shot in my eyelid, she said, "Yep, you're a mom," and then went on to tell me how she has never had a female patient faint when she gave them the shot but that guys seem to have a harder time with it.

My husband took one look at my eyelid when I got home and said, "Is it supposed to look better now?" I think it is swollen even more than it was, and I have a pretty black eye now. There was also some scar tissue so I don't know if it will ever look normal again. Sigh. At least it's gone for now.

Odds and Ends

I have to go to the eye doctor tomorrow. I have had a chalazion (a blocked oil gland) on my lower eyelid since July. As it has now grown to grotesque proportions, I am finally going to do something about it. Often, a chalazion will go away if you apply a warm compress to it for 10-15 minutes, two to four times a day. I really did try to use the warm compresses, but found it somewhat impractical. I can't see much without my glasses, but couldn't apply the warm compress with them on. With a one-year-old and a three-year-old running around the house, I had a hard time sitting still for that long without being able to see well what they were up to!

I really hate to take any kind of medication, even Tylenol, but sometimes I am too stubborn for my own good. The other day I had a headache for over nine hours before I finally gave in. My headache started around noon, and it was a long afternoon and evening because my husband had to work late (so he can stay with the kids tomorrow morning while I go to the eye doctor). I made it through dinner and got the kids to bed. Then I went straight to bed myself. After laying in bed for an hour with my head pounding, thinking that surely my headache would go away any minute, I finally took the Tylenol. It felt amazingly good to wake up headache-free the next morning!

On the subject of Drew and the baby wipes, my husband was partially right. I was so frustrated about it that I remembered to put the wipes up after each diaper change all day yesterday. Then, after a frustration-free day yesterday, I forgot again today. Ack! My husband's other suggestion was to use duct tape to tape the wipes box closed. What is it with men and duct tape?

Frustrated

I am so frustrated with Drew! He just scattered an entire box of wipes all over the floor of his room ... for the THIRD time today. I guess I am more frustrated with myself than with Drew, though. I had forgotten to put the wipes up out of his reach two of those times. The other time I had put them out of reach, but Gracie moved them back into reach. Still, he wouldn't have been able to make such a mess if I hadn't run downstairs to check my e-mail just then. Some days I feel like such a failure as a mom.

For my own sanity, I need to find a solution to the wipes problem. I need to have a place to put the wipes so that I can reach them when I need them for a diaper change, but where Drew can't reach them. Or maybe a child-proof wipes box would solve my problem. (Does such a thing exist?) My husband's less-than-helpful comment was that after Drew did this a few more times I probably wouldn't forget to put the wipes back out of his reach as often. I would rather not have to rely on my faulty memory!

Drew can't be the only one-year-old who likes get into everything. If you have any ideas on keeping him out of the baby wipes, PLEASE let me know!

Little van Gogh

This month our library is offering a series of four art classes for three- to five-year-olds, and Gracie had her first art class last week. When I took Gracie to the class I noticed that the teacher had a copy of van Gogh's painting, Starry Night. After class, I asked Gracie if they looked at any paintings by famous artists. She told me that they looked at a landscape by Vincent van Gogh (she hesitated on his last name) and that he didn't paint the sky straight. A minute or two later she commented that the sky is straight in our world, not whirly, so I asked her why she thought van Gogh painted the sky "whirly." Gracie said, "He painted the sky in cursive!" (We had talked about cursive handwriting earlier in the week, and I guess she was impressed by the loops in cursive writing. I thought it was a cute observation!)

Budget Checkup

This evening my husband and I sat down for our monthly budget "checkup." At the end of each month I add up how much money we spent in several categories, and then we sit down to compare it to our budget and look at how we did for the month. I like the fact that we sit down together to do this because it helps me stay motivated to keep up with the records. It also helps us both to be accountable for our spending.

We are finally settling in to the new budget we created in June. We have had a few unexpected expenses each month, but for the last two months we have met our budget, which is a good feeling!